My friends, as prideful as I may be, I am not above admitting that sometimes, in some ways, others can do things better than I. I do believe that a friend of mine wrote a better review of a AC/DC song I sent him than I ever could, so here it is in published form. Beware though, my friend is a bit sheltered, and AC/DC isn’t exactly a Christian band.
Greetings, earthlings! My name is Israel Nebuchadnezzar Child of Jesus Davidson, and my mother graciously permitted me to use the family laptop to write this review. When my friend Carl Loid offered me the chance to do something awesome, which is to become a great writer and even get my work published on an actual blog, I couldn’t resist! He asked me to review “You Shook Me All Night Long” by AC/DC. But firstly, I generally like to know a little bit about the bands I listen to. After learning that Skillet is basically a death metal music group, my dad decided it probably wasn’t a good idea for me to listen to them. So let’s go to Google and see what comes up (I have safesearch on don’t worry!)
Oh…oh my. Highway to Hell? That’s not good, don’t people want to go to heaven? Holy cow–pardon my language, sorry. I was just a little shocked when I found out my buddy Carl would willingly expose me to a rock group. I mean, the Everly Brothers are the only rock group I’ve ever been allowed to listen to. One time I listened to Stevie Wonder but mom said that was cutting it too close. Well I don’t really want to know anymore about AC/DC honestly, but let’s just get this stupid review over with. Oops, stupid isn’t a word I should say, I know. I think this song I’m gonna listen to is about some kinda fight or something, or about shaking at night time. Maybe the singer just woke up from a scary dream.
“She was a fast machine, she kept her motor clean”
Ooh, a fast car! I like fast cars! Even though mommy says speeding is bad, I still like it when dad goes 65 on the highway.
“She was the best damn woman that I ever seen”
Oh my, that is not an acceptable word to say! If you have to swear, at least use a nicer word like darn. Plus, girls have cooties, and mommy’s always telling daddy not to look at them, so I think seeing women probably is bad.
“Knocking me out with those American thighs”
He means she kicked him in the head, right!? What else would he mean? Yeah. Yeah, WHAT ELSE WOULD HE MEAN???
“Taking more than her share, had me fighting for air”
Oh…maybe she kicked him in the chest and that’s why he couldn’t breathe. I dunno.
“She told me to come, but I was already there”
Why would you ever come to someone who’s gonna fight you? I remember Tommy from school threatening to fight me and I ran away. Luckily mommy was right there, and after that day she pulled me out of kindergarten and homeschooled me instead. I don’t even go to youth group because some of the teens there listen to bad music and sing along to it.
“And you shook me all night long
Yeah, you shook me all night long”
Grandma says nights are for sleeping. He probably was tired after all that shaking. I wonder if he was shaking because he was afraid of the woman.
“Working double time on the seduction line
She's one of a kind, she's just mine, all mine”
I don’t know what seduction means and mommy won’t tell me, and now she’s looking over my shoulder wondering why I asked and what I’m doing on the internet!
“Wanted no applause, it's just another course
Made a meal outta me, and come back for more”
BRO! That’s CANNIBALISM! No wonder he was shaking!
“Had to cool me down to take another round
Now I'm back in the ring to take another swing”
Why would he come back for more? Why wouldn’t he run away like I did? And daddy says hitting a woman is bad, so I don’t think he should have taken any swings at all.
Oops, I have to go to Bible Study, mommy says I shouldn’t be writing this review anyway and that I’m not allowed to talk to Carl Loid anymore. Byeeeeeee!
Very cheeky, Carl.